Hi everyone. I just want to apologize and explain the reason for my long absence. As I have mentioned before, everyone struggles with internal darkness no matter who you are, including me. Even though I have worked through the darkness successfully before, I can still get lost. I did get lost, and I was consumed by my darkness. I needed someone to help me out of it, but I did not want to ask someone because I did not want to admit and accept that I was in the dark. I am back now, and I have been reminded that I cannot face this alone.
Something that I have really learned from this experience is the importance of acknowledgement, but it doesn’t stop there. The first step after acknowledging that you are in the dark, is to scream. Being lost in the dark seems a little easier when you have someone there with you. The best thing you can do is to talk to someone because you can end up talking your way out of the darkness. Once you confide in someone you are not alone in your darkness. There are people waiting in the light at the end of your dark tunnel. Listen to their voices and they can help guide you to the light. In order for them to help you though, you have to want help. You have to want to be in the light again. The worst thing you can do is get comfortable in the dark. You have to convince yourself that there is the opportunity to escape the darkness.
This is all way easier said than done. Trust me, I know. One of the ways I have gone about doing this is by challenging my thoughts. For example, if I start to think that no one wants me around, I recognize that thought and I challenge it by making a list of all the people that are around me every day. Getting to the point where you are able to recognize the negative thoughts is the hard part. Something I do to motivate myself to work up the strength to challenge those thoughts is think about something I am looking forward to today, something about this week, something about the year, and something about my life. This may be hard at first but go with your first instinct. No thought is dumb. If you are looking forward to coming back home and sleeping, then that is what you are looking forward to. Getting out of the darkness is up to you.
I am going to definitely be more active on this blog. Some weeks might be shorter than others because, let’s face it, I am human. I am also a senior in high school and that means applying for college and a lot of other stress and responsibility. We all have our own struggles because not one of us is completely perfect, and that is okay.
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